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But if you are single and you live in South Florida, the first thing you ask yourself is not ''When?'' or ''Who?'' It's ''Where?'' Where's the best place to meet that better half?

Before setting out to explore all the options in the Magic City and environs, we called Ian Kerner, renowned sex therapist and the author of several books on relationships including Be Honest -- You're Not That Into Him Either. A regular contributor to Cosmopolitan and Maxim magazines and host of a weekly Sirius Network call-in radio show on relationships, Kerner is someone we knew would have some answers.

''My advice for meeting someone is stop focusing on dating per se and start thinking of ways that you can develop your sense of self. Take classes, go to wine tastings, go to places where you can start a conversation that's not reduced to a pickup line,'' says Kerner.

``Make yourself as busy as possible so you almost have no time for dating. When people are doing things to develop themselves they are taken into new venues and are re-energized and ultimately we are attracted to people who are energetic and vital and who are expanding themselves.

''I meet so many daters who are stuck in a rut. Don't put yourself into situations where you are looking. Put yourself into situations where you can just start conversations,'' Kerner says.

Here are some atypical yet exceedingly obvious places where single people, men and women, gay and straight, hang out just to enjoy themselves. Places that require little effort and yield some sort of payoff -- even if Mr. or Ms. Right doesn't immediately appear.

We visited a Home Depot on a recent Saturday afternoon and spoke to several single customers, including 40-year-old Wolfgang Arias, a reference trade manager at Barnes & Noble who lives in Miami Shores.

If you've run out of home improvement tasks and need an excuse to be there, check out the website (www.homedepot.com ) for weekend do-it-yourself clinic schedules.

Word has it that the bookstore to frequent in Broward County is the Barnes & Noble at 2051 N. Federal Hwy. in Fort Lauderdale. Especially popular are Open Mike Poetry night, at 7:30 p.m. the second Monday of every month, and the Gay & Lesbian Reading Group at 7:30 p.m. the first Tuesday. ''There's a lot of interaction here,'' says Barnes & Noble spokeswoman Helen LaForge. ''This is a happening place.'' For information on events: 954-561-3732 or www.bn.com .

Hey, they don't call it a supermarket for nothing. When we asked South Floridians about great meeting places, Publix was a unanimous favorite. And according to Publix spokeswoman Anne Hendrix, there is always something going on at one of the 240 stores, whether it's a wine tasting or a holiday festival.

Word -- or should we say, WordPerfect -- has it that the Apple Store is the new place to meet people. With daily workshops on everything from Podcasting to Getting Started on your Mac, the stores -- on Lincoln Road, at The Falls and in Aventura -- are drawing huge crowds.

We visited the Aventura store on a Sunday afternoon and the Lincoln Road store on a Friday night and both were bustling. People were definitely checking each other out -- and maybe even clicking. For workshop information: www.apple.com .

The center has events where men and women row together and club members often congregate for barbecues. In the fall the club is adding full moon kayaking tours. For information: www.rowmiamibeach.com or 305-861-8876.

Networking Groups such as YUPRO (Young Uprising Professionals Referral Organization) are popping up all over town. Although YUPRO, a group made up of young entrepreneurs, does not bill itself as a singles organization, 90 percent of its members are single.

We caught up with the participants at one of their recent gatherings at Lucky Strike bowling alley in Miami Beach -- yet another great place to strike up a conversation -- and found a well-rounded group of intelligent professionals, ages 27-38.

''Quality yields quality and there's an instant bond here. We're all professionals and we have a lot in common. And your married friends view the world differently,'' said YUPRO member Will Springer, a 34-year-old account executive.

The Dogs Gone Wild for Singles event has gotten popular enough for the Today Show to tape recent festivities. Info: www.chinagrillmgt.com or 305-534-2211. Address: 404 Washington Ave., Miami Beach.

Chapter president Liz Hernandez said that people are welcome to attend up to three meetings before taking the IQ test. And lest you think Mensa doesn't attract a cool enough crowd, note that Geena Davis and Steve Martin are just two of Mensa's many famous members.

If you have to choose one place to be on a Friday night, try salsa lessons at Salsa Mia (at Yuca Lounge) on Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. With a relaxed lounge atmosphere and a welcoming staff, it's impossible not to feel at home here -- whether you have two left feet or can shake your bon-bon with abandon.

You don't need to bring a partner, and gay participants can learn both the leader and follower role, says owner Susan Fisher. Information: www.salsamia.com or 305-987-3033.

Looking for a picture perfect romance? This combination movie theater-bar-pool hall-live music venue could be the place to find your very own matinee idol. Open since April, Cinebar at Sunrise Cinemas at Las Olas Riverfront is the only movie theater chain in Broward County that serves beer and wine that moviegoers can bring into the theater.

And listen up, Dolphans: Beginning Sept. 17 you can watch the game on the big screen in one of the 15 state-of-the-art auditoriums. The theater is at 300 SW First Ave., Fort Lauderdale. Information: 954-761-9400 or www.sunrisecinemas.com .

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